Wake Up Kid!

Thinking Under Trees

I’m concerned that while I am still at an age where I am considered “young”, I’m also ever nearing to the age, or even currently am at the age, where while one is “young”, they are meant to be adhere to societies values. Thereby making certain mistakes or changing ones mind are no longer considered acceptable. Rather, it gets to a point where people begin to look with disapproving looks and give unsolicited advice. They believe that “you’ve had your fun, you need to move on.”

Fun obviously being a highly subjective term. To me fun includes tea and a nice chat, or spending time with my family or academic programs or blogging, researching and planning in order to make the best choice for me, which seems eccentric to some, etc.

Wake up to what you may ask? “The real world.” Which again, is a term that is also highly subjective.

I suppose the issue is that the real world to me, and the world to them, are two different concepts. It’s always taken me longer to understand things, school subjects, jokes (usually I don’t find them funny though, sometimes I find them hilarious), to even what bag do I wish to buy. And sometimes I choose suddenly because the shiny bag or program is a wonderfully unexpected surprise that encompasses everything I wanted, or nothing I realized I did.

I have my own internal clock inside my brain and heart (as we all do), and the more I or others pressure it to choose something for the sake of choosing, typically something which aligns with their values (although bless their hearts, it is a blessing to have someone care enough to give you advice, especially when it comes from the heart), the more frustrated everyone, including myself, become.

And at the same time, I highly enjoy following rules. In fact, I’m highly obsessive about doing this…yet I also crave and enjoy the chance to be creative. To simply create something. And if you ask anyone who knows me, they’ll probably say the same.

I suppose my question is, when did it become irresponsible and immature to dream or methodically research and set goals for unconventional careers or travel ideas or hobbies, etc. simply because they made you happy and seem appropriate and responsible to you? Simultaneously I think, well, when has it not been? Life’s a trip, and one has to live by their own rules.

It reminds me of a fellow student I knew. When I was 19 I ran into him in between classes at college, and said hello. Last time I’d seen him was two years before he graduated high school.

We exchanged the traditional how are you, and what are you studying bit.  I told him something along the lines of, “Wow, Pharmacy. I heard one can make a lot of money doing that. Do you enjoy it?”

And he blatantly responded, “No. I wanted to be a writer/poet, but this makes more money.”

I was a bit baffled and saddened by his response, as he had a very somber face while saying this to me…. And in all honestly, I wasn’t sure what response to give. I just nodded, then wished him luck and we said our goodbyes, as his professor arrived and unlocked the classroom door.

This was obviously years ago, but it has stayed with me.

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