Watching Waves Crash

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Well, it’s been much too long since I’ve been here dear internet! When someone in your family is recovering from surgery, even with the best intentions, certain things are put to the side unfortunately. But, as my family duties are done for the day, and for some odd reason there is no internet or cable -I enjoy background noise at times- I thought I’d simply sit and write on my trusty laptop.

To be honest, I  thought I’d like to write. But what to write about? My main focus has been elsewhere. Well, there is a memory that was playing in my mind this evening for some reason. So I shall share that.

On the last night of the cruise this past summer, my cousin and I were both very tired. However, for some reason I thought, we
haven’t seen the stars and moon while on this ship yet. I need to do this. So as my cousin went to bed, I left the room.

Unfortunately, in true Oana style, I seemed to be the only one about. Seriously.
Well, except for the cruise ship workers, who were loading and unloading baggage’s via the elevator.
My ankle was hurting, so I decided I’d sit on the couch and wait. Multiple flights of stairs seemed like something I should pass for the sake of my ankle.
15 minutes later, nothing had changed.
One of the cruise employees was a man in his late twenties. He had seen me sitting on the coach waiting,
and he asked me if I needed to use the elevator. I said yes. He offered to stop loading the baggage’s, and took me to the top floor.
I thanked him.
It couldn’t have been later than 9-almost 10. And it was windy, but not the type where one is barely able to stand.
Rather, the kind where you pull your jacket closer to you as your hair goes flying about your face.
I went passed the empty deck area where the pool was, and walked up the stairs to the top to get a better view.
It was really beautiful…the waves crashed below as the ship continued to move forward through the darkness.
I looked to the left of me, and higher above was where the employees could relax and eat. An enclosed cafe type area with large windows.
I could make out images of people holding glasses and talking to one another. I thought, if someone there sees me below, they might think I’m a weirdo.
But I didn’t care, I was enjoying the scenery, though not the cold. In fact, I wonder if this is where I caught phenomena…?
It was so…silent.
I write my own songs sometimes, regardless of my having only a slightly tolerable voice. But if I am singing to myself, and I enjoy it, I don’t see a reason to stop. Sometimes doing things simply because they make one happy, is to be treasured…
And a few lyrics came to me, than more of the melody, and so on.
I kept singing to myself, trying to get the placement just so, until it felt right to me.
Just a few verses mind you, but still, it was just a wonderful moment.
Being able to see the moon and stars, land far from us, the sound of the waves crashing, and simultaneously this silence that didn’t feel empty…rather, it just felt peaceful.
Just some time to clear my mind and take in the beauty of what was around me, even if it was under a thick blanket of darkness.

I don’t know where the music came from that I heard while making my way back to the lower deck…perhaps someone had let the club door open below that level, etc. But I did a little shuffle and dance while making my way to the other side of the deck where the elevator was. A final last hooray for the night.

I found it random that I was remembering this tonight. But…perhaps it’s me remembering to take a moment for myself, and do something, such as this blog post, which I enjoy. Something which may seem small and insignificant to someone else, but to me, it is a source of joy. The things we love matters, regardless of any outsider’s views. For a while I forgot that. Even this small blog of mine. It means a lot to me. I hope to never forget again.

Even with this blog, I began to check my stats. Thinking, did anyone view it? How many? Etc. And it became a bummer when I didn’t see what I was hoping to see. But the irony is I never had any expectations on this. I did it purely for the love and the feeling that it would be an enjoyable thing to create. Then set it off into the world and let it be. That’s all that matters. The intrinsic value it has should be the focus. At least, that’s my personal opinion. 

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